How to Be a Good Mentor: The Art of Mentoring

Becoming a mentor can be interesting, challenging and exciting, particularly when those you are mentoring acquire an understanding of what you have been teaching them, or are successful at developing new skills.

Everyone needs to fulfill their potential, and thus, as a mentor for others, you can help people of all ages. It is important to understand what mentoring entails in order to be a good mentor.

What is mentoring?

The article entitled “What is mentoring?” suggests that

"Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximize their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be."

The word mentee refers to the person taught by the mentor. Traditionally, a mentee (or student) would sit at the feet of his or her mentor or teacher, learning what he or she has the gift to teach.

Schools, colleges or universities appoint mentors for gifted students, as well as others who may benefit from one-to-one teaching or skills training. Mentors also work in various settings in the community, where one person with a higher level of expertise, or a specific skill, demonstrates the ability to guide another person in the learning process.  

There are a number of important steps to consider with respect to being a good mentor and thereby an effective mentor to a mentee. These include being a friend, confidant, counselor, adviser and teacher. How to be a good mentor involves developing higher skills in all five areas.

Friend

Many effective mentors begin mentoring by becoming friends with someone. Ideally, there is an attitude of mutual respect, the ability to form healthy, interpersonal relationships and to communicate effectively towards the acquisition of knowledge, or skills of various kinds. Building a friendship can take time.  

Confidant

As a relationship between a potential mentor and his or her mentee begins to grow beyond the level of friendship, they start to develop a mutual trust relationship. In other words, the prospective mentee trusts the mentor and is able to confide in him or her. The mentor does not betray his or her confidence and learns to trust the mentee. It is not always easy to establish a trust relationship.      

Counselor

The mentor gradually becomes aware that he or she is in a good position to counsel the mentee. He or she employs instinctive or learned counseling skills appropriate for helping the mentee to understand him or herself, as well as helping him or her to comprehend his or her potential. Encouragement and support are extremely important in counseling.     

Adviser

The mentor acts in the capacity of a sound adviser offering appropriate advice to the mentee. The mentee begins to act on the advice the mentor has to offer him or her. At times, the mentee may questions the advice, but the mentor is able to respond appropriately.  

Teacher

The role of mentor as teacher continues to evolve over time, as the mentee realizes that he or she desires to learn something that the mentor is able to teach him or her. The mentee welcomes the teaching, realizing that he or she is learning how to manage his or her own education and how to maximize his or her own potential.  

At some point in time, the mentor realizes that the mentee has learned what he or she has been teaching him or her, including various skills. He or she may refer to the mentee to a higher, educational facility. Mentors and mentees often remain good friends for life. Many mentees become effective mentors for others, as well.